My Heart and Other Black Holes: A Contemporary YA Story of Suicide, Love, and Choosing Life

I'm completely on the Jasmine Warga wagon. This was such a striking debut novel, and I can't wait to see what else she has in store for the future. Writing a story about two teenagers teaming up to accompany each other to suicide is not going to be an easy topic, but I fell so completely in love with the characters gradually. I think most people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts will find something that resonates with them. Don't think that it's all dire bleakness and despair, though. Throughout this whole thing, there was a subtle, growing component of hope. Things in life don't get fixed completely, magically or overnight, and that's definitely the case in this story. I've seen more than one comment here and elsewhere of people questioning the idea that love can cure depression or how it's a bad idea for two suicidal kids to get involved because what happens if they got into a fight or broke up. Personally I think it's irresponsible to push the idea that people dealing with disease can't find hope in each other. That's the whole point of support groups: people coming together and connecting with someone who understands. It's also not the only, sole way of getting better. It's just one tool of the many. Human connection is so important, and I really love that this was represented in this particular story. Sorry for the tangent. I just have to say this was a beautiful book, beautifully written with beautiful characters. I devoured it in one sitting and was weeping in anticipation of the ending and weeping all the way through the ending. I think it's a great, honest, hopeful story, and I hope Warga will keep on writing.

4.5 stars actually. I haven't experienced the kind of depression described in this book, but I have seen others around me experience it. In some ways, I wish that one of the characters had the kind of depression I've seen-- not depression precipitated by terrible events, but ye olde, life has a terrible, beautiful futility to it. But then again, there is an oddcouple at the heart of this. And I guess I understand the reasons the author chose to have tragedy behind both. Aysel and Roman make a suicide pact. But as they get to know each other, and each other's families, they begin to see something other than the "black slug" of depression in each other. Kudos to Warga for making Aysel a believable physics-loving nerd with a non-Anglo Saxon background. Also kudos to Warga for walking the narrow, tricky moral line between having Aysel and Roman remain loyal to their promises and to each other and the need to tell others when someone in your circle is suicidal. So where does the half star get lost? I am uneasy with the way the story resolves. There seems to be an about face and some instant forgiveness, and I wondered if it could be all that easy, especially with the inescapable tragedies facing both of them. But all in all, a very worthwhile read. if only for the way Aysel talks about her depression and how it affects her outlook on almost everything.

I'd rate this 4.5 stars. Aysel is a 16-year-old high school student growing up in Kentucky. She's obsessed with science, particularly physics, but she avoids participating in school because she doesn't want to give her fellow classmates even more fodder to whisper about her. She's also tremendously depressed, and fears that the mental illness which plagues her father will affect her in the same way, so she has made up her mind that she's ready to die. "Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head." Aysel spends a lot of time on Smooth Passages, a website for people who want to die. In a section of the site called "Suicide Partners," which is dedicated to people looking for others to make their final plans with. It is in this section that Aysel meets Roman, a 17-year-old who lives in the next town over. He, too, wants desperately to die, wants to do it with someone who lives within an hour of him, and he wants to die on April 7. That's non-negotiable. As Aysel gets to know Roman, and gets drawn into his life, she realizes the depth of his sadness, but she is uncomfortable sharing her reasons for wanting to die, for fear she may alienate him. As the days draw closer to April 7, she starts to wonder if death is really the answer for the two of them, or if she's better off finding them reasons to live. But Roman isn't interested in changing his plans, no matter how Aysel makes him feel. "I once read in my physics book that the universe begs to be observed, that energy travels and transfers when people pay attention. Maybe that's what love really boils down to—having someone who cares enough to pay attention so that you're encouraged to travel and transfer, to make your potential energy spark into kinetic energy." My Heart and Other Black Holes made me sad, and it gave me hope. It painted a tremendously accurate, effective, and emotional picture of teens dealing with depression and despair, and how the need to escape those feelings becomes greater than anything else, even connections with others. Jasmine Warga created memorable characters you truly feel for, and I've been thinking about them even after finishing the book. This book will generate comparisons with Jennifer Niven's amazing All the Bright Places , and while the two share a general theme, they're very different books. This book is a little more straightforward; I felt as if Roman and Aysel talked more like teenagers and dealt with more teenage-like problems that Violet and Finch did in Niven's book, but I felt as if the plot in this book was a little more predictable. This book is no pale imitation of Niven's, however; it is tremendously well-written and affecting, and it deserves to be read on its own merits. In the end, it's important to realize that even if your problems seem insurmountable, there is always a solution other than suicide. Anyone dealing with those feelings needs to get help, needs to let someone else in, even if the thought is overwhelming. Give someone else the chance to listen to you, to hear you, to help you.

気に入ってるようです!

Really loved this book!! I believe that the way the sorry between the two characters develops is real and truthful. Also the fact that while you're reading, you can feel there is a real experience behind it. You have to fight back. ❤️

Book was too good to read. While i was reading i have a lot of thoughts about being dead and alive. This book show us that border and book changed my mind. And i know so well that mental healths are so important if u like something about psychology or i can say that if u like girl,interrupted and to the bone like basically if u like psychological stuffs this book is for u hope u like the book.And im so happy about the main character,she is turkish :))) thank u jasmine wanga lysm<3

Such a great book! I’d highly recommend if you’re looking for your next read!

I randomly discovered this book on Amazon and I gotta say I haven't struck so lucky in a very long time. Jasmine Wargas debut is beautiful in its own way when the 16y old Aysel (the daugther of a convicted murderer) is obsessed with her own suicide, but too scared to do it alone and therefore contacts Roman (who wants to kill himself because he believes he's responsible for his little sister's death) via 'Suicide Partners' on the Internet. As weird as it sounds, I loved reading Aysels and Romans love story and because I'm recovering from severe mental disorders as well, I could feel with the two teens on every single page. The way they described the black slugs inside of depressed people, the emptiness and the feeling it gives you finally made me feel like there are actually people outside the mental institutions who can understand me. (quote from page 14: There's no significance. Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there's absolutely nothing beautiful (...) about depression. (...) is like a heaviness you can't escape. It crushes down on you, (...) it's in your bones and in your blood.) What I love most about this book is that you can feel how hopeless Aysel is with every single word at the beginning, and then, how she slowly, but rapidly changes when she discovers something new: hope. Hope that makes her keep going and not give up like she originally planned to do. And I love her need to save Roman the way he saves her without even knowing. Jasmine Wanga managed to give such a sad story a happy end without sugarcoating anything. Recovering from a mental disorder is so fucking hard and, quote: In many cases, the battle (...) is a lifelong one (...) but I want you to know no matter how lost you feel, you are never alone. (page 304). Aysels and Romans story, even though it might be completely fictional - though I doubt that because a) the author knows what losing someone you love feels like (quote page 303: I started to write this book (...) after the death of one of my closest friends (...)) and b) she thanks her husband for being her floodlight in the darkness on the last page - it feels makes you feel like you can actually overcome anything if you manage to find something (in the book it's love, but it can be anything in real life) that gives you enough hope to make you keep going and not give up. Because giving up is never a solution. I'd highly recommend this anytime to anyone suffering from mental disorders and/or loving extraordinary love stories. I only have two things to criticize: a) I kept waiting for a REAL kiss that didn't happen and b) the end should have been longer and more detailed. But besides that, I LOVE IT (even though I'm not a teenager anymore).