I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

"I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships" is a phenomenal book that has completely transformed the way I approach listening. This concise yet impactful read is packed with great information and provides concrete tools that have significantly improved my communication skills.The book's straightforward and accessible style makes it an easy read, yet it is incredibly powerful in its simplicity. The author breaks down the art of listening into practical, actionable steps that anyone can follow. I found myself immediately applying these techniques in my daily interactions and noticing a positive difference.One of the standout aspects of this book is how it emphasizes the importance of truly hearing others. The tools provided are not just theoretical; they are practical and easy to implement, helping me to be more present and empathetic in conversations. This has not only improved my personal relationships but has also enhanced my professional interactions.As a teacher, the skills I've learned from this book have been invaluable in creating a more understanding and supportive classroom environment. I've become more adept at listening to my students, which has helped to foster a deeper connection and better communication.Overall, "I Hear You" is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their listening skills and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. It's short, sweet, and incredibly effective. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to unlock the surprisingly simple skill behind extraordinary relationships.

I bought ”I Hear You” to help me listen and speak to people more effectively, both at work and in my personal relationships.I knew this book would be a little more relationship based but overall, even if it’s a work relationship, it’s still a relationship. In fact, a lot of us spend more time working with people who are not our family members than we spend with our own families—That’s crazy sauce! You might as well know how to communicate well with people, right?I was able to read the book and make notes over about a day and a half of time. I was pushing very hard to finish the book quickly because I have tasked myself with a bunch of books to advance my hard and soft skillsets. If you have other things to do, it might take you a little bit longer to read the book, but by all means, give it a go.The tone of the book is conversational and the author offers solid recommendations and examples of how to talk to people and make them feel that you hear them, and allow their feelings to be valid, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.Some of the recommendations I’ve heard in the past (use “I” statements, and throwing a “but” statement after a statement blows up the first statement—i’ve been more cognizant of not using that word so much over the past couple years). There were also some new things that I learned (What validation is, and how to phrase things better).The author also covered some things that I have been told to be aware of in my past that I did not understand at all until recently, or until I read this book (Don’t try to fix peoples problems, and don’t offer unsolicited advice—oops!!).Something really big to keep in mind is that you do not know what another person is going through. It would be nice if everyone kept that in mind and not just those who are mindful of others. If that were the case, nobody would be on anybody’s toes. Until that perfect world happens, we should be mindful to experiences others have had in life that we may not. It’s what we do with that information that makes the most important points to remember sometimes.One thing that made a big impression on me was the author reminding us that sometimes the person or the environment might not be ripe for the discussion or for change. You can only control what you can control. Don’t get bogged down, trying to help someone if the situation is not right. Offer an ear and then move on.I also liked how the author gave advice on how to get validation for yourself if you need it.I very much recommend this book to people who are trying to understand how to help others, but by hearing what they say and how they say it. Just BE there with and for someone. It’s not necessarily an easy job, but it’s a job that’s worthwhile to build strong relationship with others.Best,RO

I’ve only read a few self-help style books, but I’m trying to improve my communication style not only in my own relationship but in my new job as a supervisor, so I’ve been on the lookout for something that would fit into that category and this fit the bill.“Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.”– Richard CarlsonThere are some great things about this book.First, is the length. The author comes right out and says that nothing bothers him more than a book that takes 300 pages to say something that could have been said in 50. So this is short and sweet, the author gets to the point gives some examples and moves on. I appreciate that being that I like my fluff in fiction and not self-help books.Second, is the language. Since the author is not a therapist or has a bunch of letters after his name this reads well. The concept of validation is distilled down to layman’s language and it is easy to get. There are some real world examples that help solidify every concept or step and they feel natural with everyday verbage that I could see myself saying.validation (in the context of interpersonal skills, anyway) is the act of recognizing and affirming the validity or worth of a person’s emotions. Essentially, validation means saying to someone, “I hear you. I get what you’re feeling, and it’s perfectly alright to feel that way.”Third, for me was the biggest. Just because you validate an emotion does not mean that you agree. I’ve struggled with this one in the past the most. Just because you are acknowledging how a person is feeling and telling them you understand the feelings they are having does not mean that you agree with what is making them feel that way. Validation is not saying you’re right. I still struggle with this but it is a work in progress.Overall this had some great tips for where to start on your journey to learning how to listen to people differently in a conversation and understand where they are coming from. It pointed out how some of our initial responses to situations, while trying to be helpful, might really invalidate someone’s feelings.I liked that this was short and sweet and gave me things to work on in my day to day life without all the fluff and fodder I’ve found in some other books of this type. Even thought Michael isn’t a phycologist or therapist I thought his 4 step program and distillation of the information from his many years of therapy was really good and useful.

Worthwhile and easy to read. Easy to understand.

Really quick and easy to read and very pertinent. Great if you need to improve your validation skills for your job or any relationship. Small changes in how you listen and engage will make big changes to everyone you interact with

a short read and a very simple one but is significant in its impact. Should be part of school or anyother course where communication is a major aspect of job.

As a life coach, I can certainly say that I'll be recommending this book to my clients. Very helpful practical tips on having better conversations that can be applied instantly. Plus it's a quick and easy read.

Easy , this book was one of my faborite books. Michael is a genious. Thank you master for all information!!!!

great