Manjul Publishing House No More Mr. Nice Guys

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a tough but really helpful read if you’ve spent most of your life people-pleasing and putting yourself last. What I appreciated most is how clearly the book shows that being a “nice guy” isn’t actually kind or healthy—it’s usually about avoiding conflict, hiding parts of yourself, and hoping other people will finally give you the approval you’re not giving yourself. That hit hard. The book helped me realize: • Saying no doesn’t make you selfish. • You can set boundaries and still be a caring, loving person. • Real confidence comes from being honest about what you want, not from trying to be perfect or “easygoing” all the time. It’s very direct, sometimes uncomfortably so, but that’s also why it works. If you’ve ever felt resentful, overlooked, or like you’re always the one accommodating everyone else, this book gives you language, insight, and practical steps to start changing that.

Stumbled upon this book years ago, and I’ve reread it several times since. I’ve also given it as a gift to family and friends more times than I can count. The title can be misleading—this isn’t a book about becoming rude or selfish. It’s about learning to be genuine and honest, instead of pretending to be someone you’re not. What I appreciate most is how practical it is. I don’t have patience for books filled with vague advice or abstract ideas like “love yourself” without explaining how. This book gives clear, down-to-earth exercises and examples that actually make sense. It’s one of the few self-improvement books that helped me put real change into practice.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in their lives, it does not make men jerks. The author points out that you are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. By boosting a man's confidence and ensuring the man's needs are met, women are naturally more attractive to these men. The greatest aphrodisiac is self-confidence. The characteristics of "Nice Guys" are men who have difficulty setting boundaries in relationships with women and become doormats. The men often feel as helpless victims and seeing another person as the cause of problems. Many nice guys live life trying to gain approval for others. Many nice guys did not have their needs met as boys. As a coping mechanism to try to get their needs met, they try to be nice. Later in life, Nice Guys apply the skills learned as a boy in dealing with women - by being nice - it does not work. When being nice does not work, the Nice Guys try to be even nicer. Men need to set healthy boundaries in relationships with women. Avoiding conflicts in relationships is problematic - Women do not feel safe with a man they know they can push around. A woman wants to know you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. There is a catch - she has to test to see if she can trust you. When you set a boundary, she may strongly test and push against the boundary. She will tell you that you are wrong for having the boundary and do her best to find out if the boundary is for real. Generally, when women feel secure, they feel loved. When a man stands up to a woman, she believes he will likely stand up for her. Setting boundaries creates respect and makes women feel secure and feel loved. Around 50%+ of marriages end in divorce and usually the mother has primary custody. This places the boy in a subservient position to women and minimizes the father's influence. The mother has a profound influence in upbringing of the boy. Mothers teach their daughters to be more independent and teach their sons to be "nice boys" - dependent on women's approval. During the formative years (0-5 years), most of the boy's school teachers are women, so they learn to be subservient to women. The boy must be nice to gain the teacher's approval and earn good grades. In essence, most of the boy's power figures are women and he must be nice to win their approval. Nice guys learn that their needs are not important or having needs contrary to the women's needs is bad, so they try to please others and become miserable in the process. They become wimps, doormats, nice guys - whatever to avoid conflict in relationships and try to make their women happy. During the formative years, when a boy set boundaries with either his mother or female teachers - he was taught that it was alright to have those boundaries violated. Later in life these boys grow to become men, but use the outdated strategy developed in childhood to deal with women - by being nice and trying to make women happy at any cost. Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority. That's what this book is about. There were 27 reviews on the book; I read all of them before buying the book. I also read the 3 new reviews since receiving and reading the book. A book of this nature cannot please everyone - it will save some relationships and bury some relationships that have been long dead. Depending upon your life upbringing, the book will either apply to you or not. Since I started reading the book, I have been raving about it. Get this book. I bought a second copy to send to a friend. I even recommended friend who is a single mother raising a son to get this book.

I am basically a poster child for this topic / book. 80% of the material I agreed with on the first read, 10% made me think, and the last 10% I just don't want to admit to being true. The Good: It's the only book I know of or found that presents the issue of overcompensating through niceness in this fashion. Hard to explain, but the writing style is a lot more in your face and not like other "self help" type books. It makes for a quick and enjoyable read while getting to the point. The meat of the chapters is good material. I found myself on many occasions reading a section and actually feeling worse about myself since it was so true. Don't take that the wrong way, the pain of realization was a useful exercise. The truth hurts. The Bad: The anecdotes from the author's clients just didn't do it for me. I had a hard time relating to any of them (they do focus on existing relationships like someone else mentioned) and read as adverstisements instead of helpful, substantial examples. The exercises weren't all that appealing either, but that isn't necessarily the book's fault. My biggest gripe with the book is the label of "proven plan" on the cover. I found this to be lacking. Admittedly, I didn't work the exercises...but to me that is not a "proven plan". That is "a list of exercises." I was expecting "Do this, this, and this and here's why. Start small, work your way up here's how." (That's a plan) Conclusion: The book is totally worth the money. It is NOT a pick up book. It's much more useful and important than that on a deeper level. A pick up book will not help you if you are one of these "Nice Guys". Check it out for a decent read, but don't expect miracles since the "plan" part is a little light.

Easily the best male self development book in play!!! From about high school age and beyond this is a must read for all men! I stand by this statement!

Eye opening book for any men who think they are nice to others, but still unhappy themselves. If you think “I’m nice and I do the right thing for everyone, so I’m sure things will be great for me soon” this is the book for you. It’s not a book about how to be a jerk, it’s a book about how to be fair with yourself, figure yourself out, and make sense of why you feel stuck in spite of doing all the right things.

Writer is spot on with his observation on this topic. And direct straightforward advice. Good book.

nice book to be bad boy

I loved this book, it was the best choice I've ever made on a book. I found it deeply helpful. I don't want to use any more words to explain. I'm Italian and I understood every single word.

FUERTE recomendacion - no se dejen llevar por impresiones apresuradas debido al entorno del internet- es tan positivo y simple como creo que pueda llegar a ser un libro sobre este tema - es como muy "puro" - solo es un breve panfleto sobre aceptarse a uno mismo - pero abordando este tema desde muchos lados y de manera que ves que realmente no entiendes el concepto de la aceptacion. Mi concepto de la aceptacion cambio para siempre Es un libro que no tiene "consejos" ni te dice que necesitas ser millonario y tiranico y buscar el estatus o un titulo o un oscar o una relacion para ser feliz y valer - el libro te muestra por que el enfoque en esas cosas es errado - te enseña muy convincentemente por que la falta de aceptacion de uno mismo es el unico verdadero problema - y que superar ese obstaculo es muy facil - esto es lo que hara que puedas triunfar en todo lo demas. No hay en el libro una agenda machista ni le interesa hablar del feminismo ni de cosas politicas - es muy enfocado en lo que te esta pasando a ti como persona y eso me sorprendio y me parecio bello y refrescante - no hay ninguna incitacion a la agresividad ni a ninguna tendencia politica - tiene un concepto de la masculinidad que es tan positivo como se puede llegar a ser no me aburri en ningun momento es una lectura que se me paso rapido y esta escrito de manera que es muy entretenido con anecdotas y ejemplos - breve pero MUY sustancioso. La edicion del libro -impecable y sin ninguna falta de ortografia - me encanta la portada