Variety Gourmet Saltwater Taffy (Blue Raspberry, 1 LB)

I have something of an iron stomach. I could dig out a three month old half-eaten double cheeseburger from under the seat of my car, use a chisel to break that rock into bite sized pieces, and then wash those down with milk that's about four days past the expiration date and never look back on this with any digestive discomfort or questioning of my life choices.But these... these candies... were made in a special place in Hell. The arrive nicely packaged and pretty and pastel and for people like me who are trying to curb the sugar in their lives, they seem like perfectly wonderful little ventures into Wonka's factory. It is a lie. A deception of the highest and most sinister kind. You eat one, two, and before long a handful...And then it happens... A little innocent toot here, a whistler there, and then, cramps to rival that final scene from Braveheart where they disemboweled Mr. Wallace while he fought every moment not to let out a scream of agony. But you will. You will moan, you will twist and contort into unnatural positions that will make you consider whether or not you have a future in a sideshow. And before long, you'll know that you can wait no longer. The rest of your night is best spent cautiously perched upon your porcelain throne because you never know if that forty-seven second fart rippling the water below you will end with a violent outburst that borders on being classified by the the UN as a war crime. You'll get no rest, because you'll be afraid to sleep.And then you'll wake up the next day, confused, unsure if it was really these pretty little candies that did it to you. You'll review the entire previous day's menu and think, "Maybe it was that Chinese stir fry?" or "Maybe those chicken nuggets I sneaked when nobody was looking were a little bit off?" So you'll do it again on day two, just to be sure. And then it will start again, one inconsequential little toot, and you'll know, these things need to either go straight into the trash or into the candy dish at work that sits on the desk of that prick you just can't stand working for.

I write this review from my toilet, where I have been sitting for the last 45 minutes. Sure, the candies are ok, the flavor is ok, they have a nice light chew, the packaging is awful, not good value for the money, but I am begging the gods now to make the liquid pouring out of my rear end stop. It's a never ending flow, it's an unmanned fire hose, it's a broken fire hydrant, it's a burst water pipe... WHY IS IT JUST WATER? I'm diabetic and fell for the "sugar free" trap. Sweet baby Jesus in a bumper car, I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a raisin before I can get off this porcelain prison. Please make it stop.

I always read reviews before purchasing things.My daughter recently came home from the beach with friends. She brought saltwater taffy to us and her siblings. We finished the bag in no time. We wanted more! Amazon has everything right?!?I found this brand to have the best reviews with fewer negatives than others. I am no saltwater taffy expert. It has been a favorite since I was a kid. I never knew brands existed. I always got what walmart or gift shops carried.This stuff was different! It was sweet, salty, taffy goodness with bolder flavors than I ever had before. I will look for taffy town brand from now on. It came in a clear bag. The candy is fresh and chewy. It wasn’t melted or in a big blob like others have experienced. Maybe shipping details can impact the product received.

So I ordered these and their packaging is cute and innocent, the flavors are good but I feel obligated to warn people: These cute tasty little taffies are literally laxatives on CRACK. I ate maybe 8 and I was enjoying the different flavors and then the discomfort started. I started to get a little gassy but I didn’t really think anything of it. Then I felt these weird stomach cramps and they got worse and worse and I couldn’t move because the pain was so bad. I felt weird, feverish and strangely dehydrated and I had to stop FaceTimeing my friend to excuse myself because I was in so much agony. It was a struggle to limp to the bathroom, and once I got there I lost like 3 pounds (you get the gist). I was on that poor toilet for two hours (my friend watched two Criminal Minds Episodes while I was gone) and it was like waves of hellfire washed over me. I haven’t felt such agony since I accidentally sliced my thigh open down to the sinew when I was 13. Please please please be very careful if you do choose to eat these. I’m currently recuperating in my bed and I have no energy because I spent it all on the toilet fighting for my life. What did I do to deserve this. All I wanted was some sugar free candy. I need to reevaluate my life decisions and I’m praying that no human or any creature alive for that matter has to feel what I feel right now. Stay safe, folks

As you can see I ate them all.... In 3 days... I really like taffy town. In april I purchased 7 lbs of taffy.... Because why the hell not. I didn't eat it in 3 days... But somewhere around 2 weeks..... I have no shame.Even though they do not appear to be distributed by taffy town they are still taffy town brand. Fresh and yummy and my weakness. I love you taffy.

I bought two bags of different taffy's and let my staff of 8 and myself vote. These won 9-0. Good variety of flavors and everyone had a taste you could discern and enjoy.