The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness Paperback – May 7, 2024

Two fictional characters, Youth and Philosopher, have a long engaging set of conversations regarding Adlerian psychology in The Courage to be Disliked.Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Alfred Adler were three pioneers in the field of psychology, with Adler being the least famous of the three.I am not wild about the narrative dialog format of this book. That said, I can see that the book might be dry if it were written in a textbook format.Five main themes stood out for me:1. Separation of tasks2. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems3. Community creates a sense of belonging4. Relationships should be horizontal and not vertical5. Stay focused on the here and now, not the past or the futureIn separation of tasks, you ask yourself whose task is this. If it is yours, then you take care of it. Don’t worry about how they perceive you doing your task. If the tasks belong to others, then you provide space for them to complete their tasks.All problems are interpersonal relationship problems. According to Adlerian philosophy, “if all interpersonal relationships were gone from this world, which is to say if one were alone in the universe and all other people were gone, all manner of problems would disappear.” All problems revolve around relationships with others.Our community provides a sense of belonging because none of us can exist as a singular entity. You use goods and services provided by others. As long as you can feel that you are of use to someone else, then you can feel from your own subjective viewpoint that you are making contributions to others, and that provides a sense of your worth.Relationships should be horizontal and not vertical where there are no praises or rebukes. Praise or Rebukes imply that a hierarchical relationship exists because a person has the power to either praise or rebuke. You should strive to be equal with all others.We cannot change the past, and the future is an abstraction. Worrying about either is wasteful. Life is a series of moments called “now.” And we can only live in the here and now. Despite the wishes of some, life is not linear progression. Instead, life progresses as a series of dots.By the end of the book, I found myself grasping to recall everything that I read and to put it into an easily understood mental model. While the book made sense while reading it, by the end, I had forgotten some of the material I read earlier. I just cracked open The Courage to be Happy. From the brief amount that I have read, it seems to reinforce the material covered in The Courage to be Disliked.Because this book made me think more about relationships, I highly recommend The Courage to be Disliked.

I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice. And that every single person has a different world view and we cannot impose our world view (or personality) onto others. There is so much freedom in this book for a more fulfilling life.I thought the dialogue form would be hard to read, but it was delightful.

Tough to go through.... to be honest...... It's a discussion between a young person and a philosopher. The discussions make a lot of sense though.

5 stars! This book has a ton of great insights to change your perspective on choosing to happy and what defines a happy life. Definitely one of my favorite books! i recommend this book to everyone

The world would be a much happier place if and supportive place if each of us were to live even remotely close to Adler’s teachings. Horizontal relationships vs. vertical ones, level of being instead of level of action. And the humanity of being serving others while being present all point us toward a happier, more fulfilling life. Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Kona walk us through each lesson with deftness and precision.

Hello! My name is Monica, and I am a people pleaser. When I saw The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga I knew I needed to read it. The courage to be disliked is something I need in my life!The cover of the book is simple, yet elegant. Peaceful. I like the colors and the image. It’s definitely inviting. I was very excited to read it and gain all this wisdom and knowledge—and change my life!Then, I opened the book to the introduction. Maybe I should have realized this beforehand, but I didn’t. The entire book is written in dialogue form. The whole thing is a big conversation. Honestly, I was upset but decided to give it a try and keep reading.I’m sure there are great amounts of wisdom in this book, but I don’t think I’m smart enough to glean them from the text. I read the whole book, and the conversational format completely threw me off.Philosophy is not my jam. I know the names of Freud, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, but I have no idea what they taught or discussed. Yes, I’m showing my own ineptitude here, but that’s why I wanted to read the book. I wanted to learn and understand more about philosophy. In my opinion, this book is not the way to go to do that.What did I want? Well, I need a philosophy for dummies book. Start at the very beginning and explain, in detail, who the philosophers are and what they believe or teach. Give definitions, examples, and more examples so I can highlight them, take notes in the margins, and have time to think and process the info. The conversational format did not allow for that at all. The conversation moved on and left my understanding lying on the ground behind it.Another thing I had a difficult time with was that there are several anti-Christian references, which I didn't like. He also makes it seem like you can just think your way out of ADHD and mental illness. Sorry--I live with and love a few people with ADHD and mental illness, and it’s not that easy.If you have more of a background in philosophy and psychology, and if you understand the different philosophies of Freud and Adler, then this book may be more for you!Did I gain the courage to be disliked from The Courage to be Disliked? Ummmm…no. Sadly, I did not. It’s ok, though! I’ll keep working on it!Content Rating: PG-Profanity: None-Intimacy: None-Violence: NoneAge Recommendation: 16+ (Younger readers will not understand or care.)3/5 stars

Easy reading with wise and practical strategies to stay in the present. Reset your mind and don’t let your past decide your life. I enjoyed reading this book.