The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Men are born and raised by women, and strive their whole lives to be appreciated, loved and respected by Women. Dr. Laura shows how women really have all the power in a happy marriage and gives examples of how changing your acting and thinking will improve your marriage. Dr. Laura gives MANY examples of how Men think and act and the differences between Men and Women. For the women that consider themselves "feminists" or "Modern Women", please suspend your contempt prior to investigation and read the ENTIRE book, implement some of the suggestions, and IF it fails to help your marriage, then bash away. Most of the negative reviews of this book admit that they didn't read the book or do anything the book suggested. The World-wide Divorce rate is over 50 percent for married people today, and the number of unmarried people with children outnumbers married people. So, I think it's safe to say that the todays culture is destructive to marriages and there are a lot of unhappy Men, Women, and Children as a result of this. My wife shows utter contempt for anything that used to be done in traditional marriages and thinks I want to turn her into a "1950's housewife." (She hasn't gotten past the introduction of the book.) I believe in true equality, and a division of labor. Imagine if I just came home one day and said "I just don't feel like working, you go work instead, but I'm not going to be cooking, cleaning or taking care of the children. I plan on doing the bare minimum." Dr. Laura shows how both sexes have attributes that compliment each other and shows how marriage vows are broken easily by not doing your fair share of work, or prioritizing things over the health of their marriage. She talks about the double standards Women have for Men and how one-sided it can be. She also talks about "forsaking all others" which is in the vows and most people dismiss by being too tied to their friends and extended relatives instead of their husband, who is their family (That they picked!). After 20 years of hanging in there, praying and waiting, nothing has improved. I'm not going to be standing the abuse any longer and will be separating. Better to live alone with a crust of bread than in an nice house filled with strife. I also am a human being with wants, needs, my own dreams, emotions, and thoughts. Talk is cheap. Her ACTIONS show that she doesn't care about me. Women take heed, if you show contempt and disregard a book and concepts like this, your Man will find a woman who will treat them better. It might take 1 year or it might take 20. Every Man has His limit. Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? Men already know were damned if we do, and damned if we don't so most of us have given up talking about these issues. Listen to a Woman with a PHD in psychology and marriage counseling and read this book.

this book is something that I constantly refer back to. It changed my perspective on being happy in my relationship and made me realize that men are not as complicated as I once thought they were.

I buy tons of things on Amazon and this is the first time I feel the urge to write a review. In one word, this book saved my marriage! I met my husband four years ago and we have been married for three years with a beautiful baby boy. Our relationship started full of passionate love. It was love of the first sight, and then after time passes by, we truly believed we were made for each other and we were each other's soul mates. We both felt the other person satisfied every fantasy we had on every dimension when it comes to the other half that's supposed to complete us. I regarded him as the manly man and my hero and he regarded me as his sweet flower. We were both around 30 years old, so we were not some teenagers who have never seen other men or women. We got engaged six months after we met and got married six months after the engagement. We can't even wait for a year to plan the wedding! Then we had a baby a year later. The arrival of the baby changed everything. First we started to have different strong opinions regarding how to care for the tiny baby, then it's his family, then my family. All of sudden, before we knew it, we were pretty much fighting about everything, no matter how trivial it is. I felt true despair. If what we had cannot be called true love, then what can? I stepped into marriage with the rosy view that with our true l love, admiration for each other, nothing will stand in the way of our happy ever after life. The reality is the opposite. And all the conflicts are not there because one of us is slacking off or shirking the responsibilities as a parent. We both work really hard and are terrific parents. I have a career but managed to breastfeed my baby until he is almost two. I clean, do laundry, and cook fresh delicious home-made meal for dinner every day. He works super hard at his job and he provides a great life for the family (a big house, nice cars, etc etc.). Once he gets off work, he comes home right away to take care of the baby. He devotes all his time on the weekend to the baby without me asking for it. And we truly still love each other. When we fight, we both feel deeply hurt and still care about each other. So we make up, but then something will trigger another fight a week later. The cycle continues. So I searched for answers. I believe in solutions in every problem. Finally I came across this book. Even with all the great reviews, I was skeptical initially. Then I was completely blown away by the truth revealed in the book. For example, I used to believe since we have true love between my husband and me, so I am supposed to "share" whatever is on my mind whenever I want. If his reaction is not what I expected (patient, understanding etc., the stuff depicted in a movie), I get annoyed. So quote this book "Somehow wives have come to believe that with respect to communication, more is better. Wrong. More appropriately selected and times is better." So true! Another example is I love him so much because I think he is such a manly man. As a result, I neglected the fact that he has emotional weakness too. And he actually relies on me more for emotional support that I need him! (As we girls are natural talkers and we talk to everybody.) But I just brushed it off as he is not being himself. I think the root of the problem is that as an independent career woman, we have been influenced too much by the feminism stuff. When I was growing up, my mom always "work hard and be independent, then you don't have to rely on a man and be his submissive wife." So I equate "a submissive wife" with "a loving understanding wife who respects his husband's opinions". Even though all these are subconscious cuz I always think of myself as a woman with traditional value, who acknowledge the differences between genders, who think some extreme values of feminism are actually hurting women. I didn't know I was influenced subconsciously! If I ever have a daughter of my own one day, this is what I will tell her: work hard, and be independent, just because you want to be responsible for yourself as a human being, not for any other reasons. Don't have extreme views regarding men, they are not untrustworthy but they are not your savior either. Treat them as a truly equal. Respect them, love them, and they will return in ten folds. The only negative part of this book, is that the author seems to try sneaking in some religious stuff related to God. You can just ignore it if you are not religious. Doesn't reduce the value of the book.

In the past 50 years books on relationships and marriage in the US and also to a lesser extent in the UK, have routinely blamed men for the majority of faults in relationships and marriage. The default knee jerk reaction seems to have been – he's too aggressive, not sensitive enough, is not (insert your adjective here) enough...you get the message. Women's wants, needs and priorities are seen as normal and indeed paramount, whereas the husbands' wants and needs are either mainly disregarded or not considered at all. No “equality” here then ?! Fortunately this book by well known relationship talkshow hostess Dr Laura redresses the balance and gives men and husbands a fair hearing. This is quite refreshing as we only usually get to hear the feminine side of the debate. Much of the book's material is taken from her talkshow listeners and emailers in the form of small case histories,which makes for interesting reading. Men's no.1 complaint about marriage is that their wives are too controlling of sex. As sex is the major way a man displays love and affection to his partner when this is refused (a fairly common event judging by these case histories) not only is the man sexually and emotionally frustrated he cannot show his wife love, the wife also loses out as she is in effect refusing her partner's love. Laura makes the point on several occasions that men are simpler creatures than women. That they almost desperately want to love their wives, all they ask in return is a little respect, consideration, admiration and physical love. If he is properly treated like a man should be by his wife, she will be amply repaid. Laura also gives many case histories where women are dismissive of their husband's economic contribution to the marriage,and what he does for the family and around the house. And wives often seem to "sweat the small stuff" by focusing on minor annoyances instead of seeing the bigger picture of a man who wants to love her, if he is allowed ! This may be a sobering book for some women to read, as they see their controlling behaviors and disrespect they have shown their husbands highlighted in the numerous case histories that are mentioned. However as these cases show repeatedly,husbands are by and large prepared to forgive and forget, and Laura points out the relatively small changes that can transform a previously ho-hum marriage into one that is vibrant and alive.

Dr Laura is awesome. Refreshing book written to the women also instead of the usual anti-male persepctive

Ich würde sagen, der Ratgeber ist nur für Menschen (Frauen) die sich Dinge eingestehen können. Alle anderen können sich die Mühe sparen es zu lesen, da es so keinen Sinn macht und reine Zeitverschwendung wäre.

This is here to remind everyone of our fundamental needs in a relationship. We all want to love and be loved and somehow this gets forgotten in the modern world. Women can get so caught up in the mundane duties of life, housework, looking after the kids that they forget what it means to be a wife - gentle, sensual and nurturing towards their husband. Men don’t need another ‘mother’ figure. They need a wife, and when we are able to slip in and out of these roles, our man feels safe, powerful and will go to the ends of the earth for us. I understand this book may offend some people but if you’ve been having the same issues time and time again, nagging about your man not doing things around the house, helping out, or not giving you love and attention, try a different approach, be tender and playful and see if it works. If you want change, one person only has to try something different. let that person be you.

Love Dr Laura’s thoughtful, factual knowledge. She is right and if you are struggling with your marriage her book is very helpful to put you on track and show you was to influence the trajectory of your marriage. I bought multiple copies for a book club and to give away. A classic I will keep on hand. Amazing wisdom to improve your marriage.