The ULTRA DOLPHINS debut album "Mar" is like the ocean, which, in turn, is like a simile for a sea of consciousness, as it contains many multitudes of creatures, each performing specialized and natural tasks, and also the seas of consciousness can adequately mirror the contents of life itself, and provide information about them. The guitar riffs are supple as octopus tentacles, snaking over the fretboard and thru yr mind's "aye," performed without the benefit of plastic pick (an arachnid lacking an endoskeleton) and squirting black ink on one's self-centeredness. The drummer plays shells underwater like Sebastian in "The Little Mermaid," and the bass is the most popular fish in school. A pelican (whose pouch holds nothing but virgin Exxon oil) spits up an ebony load, smack into the President's privates, which are improperly impregnated, and whose milk-white loins produce passion fruits of the Anti-Christ, one of which is like "Mar," the debut album by ULTRA DOLPHINS.
M**E
incredible lo-fi spazz rock
Whenever I read the name of this ludicrous band all I can think of is some genetically modified super Dan Marino (kind of like Super Shredder)! Ultra Dolphins definitely live up to my ridiculous imaginations to boot. Rocking utterly preposterous, experimental post-hardcore in the vein of XBXRX and The Blood Brothers, Ultra Dolphins are my new hyperactive outlet. It is hard to explain how much fun Mar is. For some reason they remind me of Man Man a little bit with their little interspersed piano lines and muddy vocals. Listening to the album while writing this I keep finding these weird words pop into my head like "charming," "hilarious" and "retarded." Not always your average descriptors for an aggressive spazzcore ensemble but somehow Ultra Dolphins pull it off with a high level of respectability. Mar is a super lo-fi recording which may shadow some of the incredible instrumentation here but is all the better for it. Just over 30 minutes but that is about the extent of my post-hardcore attention span anyway. Tubular?
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