New Rise Press Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives

I love this book! It's very insighful and can be used for professionals as well as civilians. Could be used for personal and professional insight into human behaviours and self reflection. It might even help people to have better quality of relationships with each other with more insight into their behaviours. I would definitely recommend this book.

My son is 18, I am 49. This book says all the things we feel and think and couldn't put it in words. This really is a great book

I was surprised to see I have not yet written a review of this book. I have read it three times. It is a clear and enlightening book that does not promise instant relief, overnight success or absolution. It is a book that allows us to understand the underlying mechanics of why we behave out of defence, avoidance and self perpetuated resistance. I have a vast library of self help material, after having a major breakdown in my work and love life I amassed all sorts of literature. All of these books seek to bring you to an end defined by the path of their choice. Josephs book came late in the game. While I was searching embarrassment and shame as major sticking points in my progress, I came across his web presence. He runs a website called After Psychology that I highly recommend with posts and blogs by the author and the ability for the readership to comment. It was here I started to see real, helpful objective material, and ultimately found out about his writing. Josephs work is based in the field of psycho-dynamic psychotherapy. He has a lifetime of experience working as a counsellor and receiving counselling himself. It shows, as he does have things covered from many angles with great empathy. This stuff does not pull punches, and in some senses you must be ready to see your faults for what they are. Many counsellors/therapists do not have the grounding to work in this field because it is sobering, sometimes painfully revealing to the ego that wants to run and hide. What he gives us is a systematic, thorough and easy to understand method for observing our behaviour and informing ourselves based on these observations such that as we learn and progress our path is gently corrected and self-monitored. Please do yourself a favour, check out his website, check out a sample of the book (or his other works which are also excellent), be honest and secure with yourself and monitor your reactions. Try observe them with objective understanding rather than critical judgement. Highly recommended.

I came to this self-help book through Dr. Burgo’s honest and insightful blog “After Psychotherapy.” I’ve long been fascinated by the topic of psychological defense mechanisms, which I first learned about in therapy and later studied in psych classes. I think they represent one of the more helpful topics discussed in psychotherapy. Dr. Burgo explains the role of the basic defenses with clear descriptions and relatable examples culled from his 30+ years in practice. Some, like repression and denial, have become part of our general lexicon, but others, such as splitting and displacement, are lesser known. Although we are often unaware of it, all of us rely on defenses (to a greater or lesser degree) to shield ourselves from emotional pain. Our personalities are partly determined by which ones we employ. They only become problematic for us and interfere with our relationships when we overuse them. If we find ourselves doing so, it can be helpful to explore feelings that are buried beneath the surface, to see why we may be relying so heavily on defenses mechanisms. While this may be best done in therapy, it is possible to do it on our own to some extent, and Why Do I Do That? facilitates this self-exploration. Throughout the book, Dr. Burgo gently encourages us to peel back our protective layers and face what’s there, however unattractive or uncomfortable those thoughts and feelings might be, in order to discover what’s behind our undesired behaviors. The goal is to gradually be able to accept a broad range of emotions so that we no longer have the need to cover them up. Burgo suggests that once we determine not only which defenses we are using, but more importantly why, we can begin to reduce their use and become more honest and successful in our relationships.

The author presents the topic in a format that is easy to understand and relate to. I found it very informative and interesting. I'm glad I found this book!