Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

This book helped me understand how boundaries work in multiple ways. We can have weak boundaries and allow others to invade our space and ask too much of us, but we can also have permeable or unhealthy boundaries by expecting too much of others -- by doing this we invade THEIR boundaries, even in small ways. I had always tended to think of boundaries in terms of the first definition, in other words, I saw many instances in my life where I accommodated or enabled people and didn't take steps to keep my own space sacred. This book helped me see that I had also transgressed in interesting ways by wanting others to fulfill certain expectations I had of them, which led to disappointment and resentment (in myself, mainly -- but probably also contributed to a less-than-ideal relationship). Reading the book had the unexpected effect of making me respect both myself AND others more. There's a quiz-like personal assessment at the beginning of the book to which the author frequently refers, and it's very helpful in making the various chapters personally relevant to the reader. I recommend the book.

My therapist recommended I read this book for clarity on boundaries after ending a codependent 10 year relationship. This book really brought so many issues to the fore for me. The author uses a series of diagrams and lists to delineate what can otherwise seem a murky label. I mean, on reading other books on the subject, I've asked myself who isn't a codependent in modern American society? He even gets at the subconscious manipulation enacted on someone who's in a codependent relationship which is so hard to grasp, normally. While the book is lengthy, I'm still finishing the last chapter and I read self- help books before I go to bed, it's crammed with information the reader can reference again and again. This book has helped, along with my therapist, in boundary making in many of my relationships. If you have any of these issues, I highly recommend your reading this book.

Dr. Whitfield has written a comprehensive book on recognizing, setting and maintaining boundaries. There is information about how boundaries are violated, what it might feel like to the individual and how to get your boundaries back and keep them. "Boundaries" is filled with compassionate insights for those who have experienced childhood trauma, become codependent and want to break free and reclaim their soul, body, and spirit. Enlightening and informative. I learned a lot and much of the content hit home.

Has some really good information, but the author is speaking psych-ese part of the time. More theoretical than practical. The theoretical information helps you understand why some people seem to breach other people's boundaries. But short on practical advise on how to keep boundary breachers in check.The thing I liked the best in this book was a long check list of the areas where people have boundaries that can be violated. On the list was clothes. When I was growing up, my sister frequently took my clothes without asking. I had always been mad at her for doing that when we were growing up. Now I see that behavior for exactly what it was. I think going through the "list" and thinking back on your own life is a good exercise. It helps you see where you boundaries have been violated in the past or perhaps the present.

I had expected from this book on setting Bondaries in relationships, at least an example of exactly how one does that. Not once does the author give step by step examples or instructions on how to set a boundary. I believe in the entire 234 pages (before I got to the appendix on using psychic abilities??? No idea why that's in there!) he only used 3 ambiguous case stories which rarely proved a point or educated.The most annoying intrusion into my book-buyer's boundary of not being advertised & spammed to in a book I've paid for, was on almost everyone of those 234 pages, he plugs ALL of his other books. Instead of explaining his point he would say "refer to chapter whatever of his other book(s) #1-#5). In one chapter he actually used a big topic heading only to write below, for this topic see such & such of my other books! So he expects me to buy ALL of his books in order to read THIS book.He also repeats himself over & over, which seems like he is trying to fill blank space just to meet a quota since none of the repititions were needed to prove a point & instead felt intrusive & unnecessary to the point of irritation. As one other reviewer said already, he also hasn't decided who his audience is & tries to write to both at once, failing to reach anyone by alienating the reader.I gave this book a 3 because the ideas the author expressed were useful & mostly on target and applicable. His theories deserve attention & expansion, and this book will at least be helpful in illuminating the need for healthy boundaries.

Nothing new to me in here but someone else might love it.

Gained great insight not only in my boundaries, but others. Easy read.

This is an excellent book that teaches the meaning and importance of the words/behaviors about keeping good boundaries with all people, especially those in a romantic relationship, as it will help prevent or sort out issues clearly, so as they can be rectified, and perhaps save a relationship from heartbreak.

Very interesting. Makes more sense the more you go along. Explains things in different ways, making it accessible to everyone, I believe.

This book explains in detail about different boundaries of where you begin and others end by knowing yourself better. There were several situations I never considered a boundary invasion so I learned a lot. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand themselves more compassionately.

a must read , great self help book

juste une "mise en bouche" pour un travail futur , un petit aperçu de ce que peut valoir un travail personnel avec un proféssionnel

Thank you