Schmidt Happens

A lot of people just read the Ross books for the laughs, and make no mistake, there are plenty of them. But if you read enough of them you begin to get the idea that Paul Howard doesn't like Ireland very much. The people he writes about are just simply horrible. Utterly narcissistic, completely superficial and vicious as badgers, and it's easy to get the idea he's just making them up for comic effect, but, being Irish myself, I can tell you that, while he may be exaggerating, he's not making it up. There's a dark side to the Ross novels, and it lies in the fact that these people are more real than anyone in Ireland would care to admit. Howard's brilliance lies in the way he walks that tightrope between the darkness and the light. So far, he's never fallen off, and this one is no exception.After his wife, Sorcha, gives birth to a child fathered by Ross's old rugby crony, Fionn, the book opens with the whole tribe - wife, crony, new baby et al - moving into the family home WITH Ross (don't ask - apparently, this is the kind of thing "mature, modern adults" are supposed to do in the New Dispensation). Since the home is already under occupation from Sorcha's "old pair" (her father and mother) both of whom hate Ross with a violent passion, the scene is set for what the Chinese call "interesting times", especially when you throw Ross's malevolent daughter, Honor, into the mix, not to mention his three devilspawn toddler sons. Add in his "pregnant" seventy year old mother, determined to revenge herself on him for his previous - sort of - attempt to murder her (again, don't ask) and his wig-wearing, politically ambitious father on the cusp of election to the highest office in the land, and you have another Ross belterThere follows the usual creative destruction as Ross freewheels through the leafy avenues of prosperous south Dublin, with the occasional foray into the sink estates of the north city as he struggles manfully in support of his bright but lascivious first-born, Ronan, half-brother to Socrcha's children (well, the ones she's had by Ross, not the one she had with Fionn. It's getting complicated already) who is indicted in a university show trial after having drunk deeply from the well of Rachel, the best friend of Hughette, commissar of the university students union. Don't try to keep up, especially when he leads a raid on the Facebook HQ to rescue a mate from the cult of the cyber giant (again, another brilliant concept, absolutely indicative of the way we live now) . The fun of the books is watching Ross racing about like a hamster in a wheel trying to sort out everyone's problems, especially the ones he's created himself.Howard has this down pat and he never seems to run out of ideas. He occasionally brings in real people to these books, and the title of this one refers to Joe Schmidt, the Ireland rugby coach, who appears in this one as a Yoda character, distilling the wisdom of the great game as he counsels Ross through his various trials and tribulations, talking to him in the only language he truly understands - rugby. "Life is just a series of moves, and they're all connected" results in an appearance on a feminist podcast which might just change the political destiny of the nation while simultaneously nobbling the prosecution in Roland's show trial. It's all great stuff, and the moral that always comes through these books is that, however amoral Ross himself might be, it all pales into insignificance against the machinations of modern, wealthy, yet strangely impoverished Ireland of the 21st century and the appalling people who reign in it, always "passionate" about the supposed rights of this or that identity group while neglecting their own families and children. Ross's utter lack of commitment to or belief in anything other than family is such a brilliant counterpoint and an echo of a lost Ireland.I knocked off one star because this one is not quite as funny as some in the series, but don't let that put you off. A special word of praise for Rory Nolan who narrates the audio version. This is the first Ross book with an audio format and if you're not Irish, this might be the way to go

I've enjoyed all of the Ross O'Carroll Kelly books but just when I thought Ross couldn't get any better, Schmidt happens....I howled out loud more than any book I've ever read, marked the lines that beg to be shared with friends and dragged out the final paragraphs as long as I could. I loved how Ross is finally maturing and how he always stands up for his kids.Absolutely favourite book of 2019. I can't wait to read it again in a few months.

Very disappointing. Relies on pure filth to make an impact. I'm not a prude but this is really over the top .

Another cracker from Paul Howard! This book will have you in stitches, I didn’t want it to end. Roll on the next instalment.

Fabulous book. Laughed from start to finish. I am so sad I have finished it. I think I will start it again. So funny.