1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2 12

my mom always counted with me when i was a kid so i recognized the topic before reading the book. this goes into more detail like how long to wait between numbers, what to do if your child won't stay in his location after getting to 3, what is a countable offense vs. what isn't negotiable, etc. i actually started counting before finishing the book (never did finish) and 98% of the time my kids respond by the time i get to 2, so to agree with the author, this is super simple yet really does work, at least in my case.

This book was recommended by a friend who knew that I was struggling with my daughter. I'm a single father of a (as of 10.10.02) five-year-old daughter. I have her everyday from after school, 3:30 to 6:30, and all day Sunday, and she still lives with her mom. I was raised with a smack first mentality and her mother believes in spanking, too. I decided early on that I wouldn't do that as it did nothing to improve my unruly behavior. Having said that, I was very skeptical of this book but with the great reviews here at Amazon, I gave it a shot. After reading about half of the book, I told my daughter I was reading a book about how we could better handle behavior issues. She abhors me yelling, despite causing the need for it. The book says that at that age, initially they might not understand the 1-2-3 explanation, but THE VERY SAME DAY, she understood. It worked for everything from leaving the park earlier than she wanted, to not listening at the house, in other words, everything. In fact, if I immediately got mad (this is addressed also at the end of the book under the backtracking chapter), she would say, "Hey, you didn't even count." Now, I have only had to use this a couple of times with my "old school" parents around, whom I know would prefer the spanking method, but the book does recommend strategies for dealing with skeptical loved ones, other parents, or friends. Finally, the second portion of the book addresses the "start behavior" such as cleaning rooms, homework, etc. While my daughter doesn't have as much to do as an older child, it has been very effective in dealing with these issues, too. In a nutshell, I was a divorced, clueless, single parent who grew up virtually isolated from other kids, so I was very eager for advice, and quite simply this book provided it. I can't imagine anyone not enjoying this book and it's recommended age range of 2-12 seems quite reasonable. I hope you find it as useful as I did.

This book really helped me. When my son misbehaves, I tended to get frustrated and angry and yell too much. I used time-outs, but I would use them angrily, like "That's it! Now you're getting a time-out!" and lecture too much. This book offers a simple way of giving time-outs that's MUCH more effective AND keeps me from yelling. First you explain the system to the kid so he knows what to expect. Then, when he misbehaves, you just say "That's one" and NOTHING ELSE. If he continues misbehaving, you go on to "That's two" and, if necessary, "That's three, take five." At that point, you put the kid in time-out WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING ELSE! That way, you don't get dragged into an argument, you don't get frustrated and yell, AND the kid knows you mean business and it's fruitless to argue. After the time-out, you let the kid out without mentioning it further. There's no hurt feelings, it's just simple, calm discipline where you're in control. It's a wonderful system. My son responded to it immediately. Now if he does something wrong, I say, "That's one," and he immedately stops what he's doing and says, "I didn't get to two or three!" And I say, "That's right, you didn't. Good for you."

After recently deciding to leave my job and stay home with my 3 year old, this book has helped me keep my sanity! The freind who recommended 1-2-3 Magic put it best in saying that it is important that parents have control of the home - not toddlers! This book is really helping me take back that control of my home and has greatly improved my relationship with my toddler as a result. The author does a great job of providing specific age appropriate examples of how to implement his suggestions and I love the guidance on how to take emotion out of the disciplinary process. Phelan's methods have helped me resolve issues with my son consistantly rather than having to go through a mental list of all the different methods of discipline I used before - many of which were just as unpleasant for me as they were for my child. As a result, I often don't have to get to the step of taking action because poor behavior stops on the count of 1 or 2. The other thing I love about this book is that most of the teachers at my son's pre school have read it and can help reinforce the principals while he is there. It has been helpful to have my mother and husband read the book as well so that we are all consistent.

My husband and I started this program a few weeks ago to help control our 4-year-old son. Oh, he put up some (okay, a lot!) of resistance at first. Luckily, Phelan deals with this in his book so I knew what to expect. As the days go by I notice that my son is less physically aggressive and more agreeable. I think he's realizing that he is not the boss in this house but we, his parents, are. The truth is hard to take, even as a preschooler! Phelan's strategies are common sense and easy to initiate. The book is written in a very easy-to-read style that makes reading (and re-reading) quick.

Great book, just need to follow it...!

Great product - timely delivery!

Brilliant!!! came in plenty of time, well packaged than you!!!

Excellent parenting book to read, interesting examples. Lovely skills.

This really helped my husband and I to be on the same page as far as discipline goes. We both know what to do under any circumstance that comes up, and the children know what to expect as far a consequences go too. It has really calmed our household down a lot.