Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: A Guide to Getting Over Your Partner's Past and Finding Peace

I have found this book to be extremely helpful. I came across it whilst googling the nature of the issues I was encountering. I came across the usual forums which essentially contained messages such as "just get over it" or " just let it go". Could work that out for myself and am fully aware that It is imperative that I do deal with this. I was struggling with how to do so. I didn't want to talk to friends about it for fear of being simply told the same thing, The book very much helped to address that because it's run by someone who clearly understands the problem in detail.The book is very well written and thoughtfully structured. The author is firm in his advice throughout but also very empathetic. It contains a number of helpful strategies for dealing with retroactive jealousy and helps put the whole thing into perspective. Another key thing I also gained from the book was the knowledge that I am not alone in trying to deal with retroactive jealousy. I'm not saying that this is magic cure but it does give you the means to deal with the issues. Overall excellent and highly recommended if you are encountering these feelings yourself.

I have just finished this book and while, as it states in the book, I have a lot of work to do yet, it's the first I time in a very long time that I have finished a self help book and felt as though there is no part of it that I contested or questioned. The author's honest inclusion of his own experience with RJ and the encouragement to action some of the steps while reading really led me to come away feeling more rational and stable when it comes to RJ. I really have an excitement to work on this each day and to action what I've learned into my relationship. While my relationship is great and my struggle with RJ is somewhat internal, I think this may have saved my relationship from heading down the path that I would never want it to.

This book was helpful in opening my eyes to some of the things I didn’t realise I have been doing in my relationship. Some useful advice to get onto a path to recovery.

I've been suffering with RJ on and off for the best part of three years with no clue on what was going on. Its pushed my relationship with someone super attractive and loving to the limits and I was close to walking away. This book explains exactly what has been going off in my mind and I feel seen and understood. Best of all, I've realised I'm not alone. This guide gives a brilliantly insightful view on what it is and how to overcome it. Being partly dyslexic, the concise writing is perfect for me. I'll be carrying it around along with the written exercises for a good while whilst I get a grip on the RJ. I'm grateful to the author for sharing their experiences on how to get out of the depressing pit that is retroactive jealousy. Thank you.

I read this after Joshua Fletcher's in same night. They both have some good points. But not really relating much to females!! Everything mentions from male point of view which I found like this is considered one sided There was a point in this book that made me feel worse and I cried! It made me think of my partner with his ex having sex and went into detail of sharing bodily fluid! I was devastated as all my jealousy has been around love and connection But in it's defence there is some good points in both books.ill take away that people don't remember details about things which I realise I don't remember much about my past? Also look after yourself exercise ect which takes away focus. Not sure which book to mention as I read back to back .worth a read but still looking for a mixed gender one!

It's easy to look at books like this and think, 'oh it's only short, the author is out to make a quick buck'. I did and I was wrong. So many self help are published that are filled with needless analogies and endless stories merely to fill pages. This book is short but it gets to the point. The problems it tackles will chime with a lot of people and while the author is not a medical or psychiatric expert he has clearly been through these problems and offers clear, simple guidance that makes an incredible amount of sense. There is no quick fix to reactionary jealousy but an understanding of the problem and a willingness to follow the advice offered in this book will, I genuinely believe, offer a pathway to overcoming this very destructive thought pattern. If reactional jealousy is a problem for you, then do yourself a favour and get this book.

I bought this because I was desperate to try something to help, and as any RJ sufferer knows Zachary Stockhill (founder of retroactivejealousy.com and creator of self help course) seems to be the only man on the Internet with any real help on the issue. The book was much shorter than I thought it would be but it was very very helpful. However it is not a magic solution to RJ, you must also commit to putting the work in necessary to overcoming this condition and incorporate Zach's techniques and excercises into your daily life. All in all, I would definitely recommend this book for anyone who suffers from RJ, it is written by someone who can totally relate to it and it is very comforting.

I really wish someone could have given me a copy of this twenty years ago. Zachary Stockill has managed to get a handle on things in a year or two that I've failed at for two decades. If nothing else, it's helped me realize I'm not a complete wierdo freak for being upset by my partner's past. There are a couple of places where he strays a little too close to the new-age, buddhist stuff for my taste. Setting that aside, this is a really helpful guide to anyone struggling to manage their emotions with regard to their partners past sexual history. The advice and guidance is generally very practical and based on well developed theories like CBT. Although it's delivered with a large dose of compassion and understanding, it's very firm about underlying causes and what can/should be done to address them. For me, this is all still work in progress, but Stockill's book has helped me come further in the last few weeks than I have for a long, long time.