Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married Paperback – September 1, 2010

This is a different type of marriage book. It’s very practical and addresses topics will affect you marriage that you can discuss beforehand. Many of these things get figured out along the way by way of arguments and disagreements or worse, just acquiescing without agreeing. (10 years later this is the reason you’re getting divorced and you haven’t ever talked about it. The other person has no idea & you never trusted them enough to tell them your feelings.). These topics range from who is going to clean the toilet to handling money and marrying into another family. It’s good practical thought and food for discussion. As the first chapter says “Being in love is not is not an adequate foundation for a successful marriage.”

There is a review someone wrote that said he " I DO NOT recommend unless you BOTH have had a good amount of counseling in the recent past. Reading this kind of book without simultaneously going through pre-marital counseling or individual counseling is a recipe for disaster. It's actually kind of irresponsible to lead people this deep without having anyone there to clean up the "mess" and help people process their emotions. It brings up finances, past relationships, families etc. Topics that can evoke intense emotions and feelings. Ladies, if your man has never been through counseling, this is NOT the place to start. It will only start a fight and could lead to a break up. I believe this type of thing should only be done in a controlled setting by trained professionals or read by older, more mature adults who can talk about sensitive topics without over re-acting, or couples that have been together for a while and already know everything about each other." I THINK THIS REVIEW IS LAUGHABLE if you are not mature enough to read a book together to better your relationship or to try and get your significant others opinions on very important topics then you are not mature enough to be in a relationship to begin with lol.With that being said, I bought this book for my BF and I a few weeks back. We only do one chapter a night as to not get overwhelmed and so we can really focus on that particular chapter. I've had minimal counseling and my BF has not had any yet this book has not made us fight. If anything it's actually brought us closer and really opened our eyes as to how to love one another better. I've read the 5 love languages before(my BF had not) but I never heard of the 5 apology languages and I never thought that there are two stages to love until we read this book. My BF learned my love language and we learned each others apology language and helped with opening up and bettering our communication. We haven't even finished the book yet but I can say it's actually helped us understand one another and it's given us some pointers into how to deal with certain topics. I totally recommend this book and I've actually already had a few friends purchase it.

Interesting book. It's perhaps a little simplistic and obvious, but then again it's often the obvious things that we fail to notice or take for granted. This is a good book to keep around as a "refresher". I'd recommend re-reading it every few months or so. I think the overarching theme that Chapman wishes to stress is that almost all aspects of a marriage should be planned well *before* the marriage ever takes place.How many kids do you want? By when? How often do you plan to visit family? Are you going to raise your children to have the same values that you have, or are you going to let them decide for themselves (hopefully the latter)? What religion are you, and what does it require? Do you donate some of your income each month? Do you prioritize your siblings or your parents over your partner? Do you have a low or high sex drive? Do you think you can adapt if it changes over time? Do you agree on political issues or are you okay with the disagreements? Do you feel loved in the same way? Can you show someone you love them in a way different than you feel loved? And so on... the book covers a lot.I'm starting to get the impression that the vast majority of divorces occur because people misinterpret the evolutionarily useful (yet romantically deceiving) slurry of neurotransmitters in their brain as "true love". Call it what you like -- personal chemistry, honeymoon phase, tingles, butterflies, passion -- yawn. None of that holds a marriage together, and when that feeling disappears (as it always inevitably does; Chapman indicates this typically occurs around the two year mark), each spouse becomes disillusioned and feels like they've married a stranger -- one who disagrees with them on almost everything.In a lot of ways, I relate closely to the author's kind of thinking -- both his thought process and the way he perceives the world. It's interesting to see how he has overcome his personal relationship difficulties, and for me personally, I think knowing how he eventually fixed his issues can help me prevent my own from ever occurring in the first place.

Easygoing, simple and filled with examples, this book with small readable chapters are worth reading before getting married. The money well spent.

This book has truly opened my eyes to the importance of discussing not only with your partner about the next steps of marriage, but talking about the difficult moments one has encountered and sharing personal information with wisdom, with the aim to bring clarity, peace and unity before saying 'I do.' It is also important to understand the family you are marrying into as you aren't just marrying your spouse, but their entire household. I am so glad I got this book and look forward to going over the notes again. It's very important to get this book if you are contemplating on having a Godly married life that will last.

C'est un livre que je recommande même au célibataire. Pleins de connaissances enrichissantes sur les relations lorsque que l'on veut se marier.

The book made me realized how superficial christian dating is and why the divorce rate among Christians doesn't make the walk of what we preach. I never dated anyone and while anything mentionned in the book made complete sense to me, i understand the importance of asking the right questions and knowing the partner well before getting married. However, it also scared me because I fear that I am too serious even for a Christian man because I will ask the right questions before considering getting married.

It has a simple and easy lecture which the author demonstrated his experience in helping people over the time. He proposed the 5 love languages which help a lot your relationship, not just with husband or boyfriend, but with any other person. I sincerely​ recommended it.