My Heart and Other Black Holes: A Contemporary YA Story of Suicide, Love, and Choosing Life

I'm completely on the Jasmine Warga wagon. This was such a striking debut novel, and I can't wait to see what else she has in store for the future. Writing a story about two teenagers teaming up to accompany each other to suicide is not going to be an easy topic, but I fell so completely in love with the characters gradually. I think most people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts will find something that resonates with them. Don't think that it's all dire bleakness and despair, though. Throughout this whole thing, there was a subtle, growing component of hope. Things in life don't get fixed completely, magically or overnight, and that's definitely the case in this story. I've seen more than one comment here and elsewhere of people questioning the idea that love can cure depression or how it's a bad idea for two suicidal kids to get involved because what happens if they got into a fight or broke up. Personally I think it's irresponsible to push the idea that people dealing with disease can't find hope in each other. That's the whole point of support groups: people coming together and connecting with someone who understands. It's also not the only, sole way of getting better. It's just one tool of the many. Human connection is so important, and I really love that this was represented in this particular story. Sorry for the tangent. I just have to say this was a beautiful book, beautifully written with beautiful characters. I devoured it in one sitting and was weeping in anticipation of the ending and weeping all the way through the ending. I think it's a great, honest, hopeful story, and I hope Warga will keep on writing.

4.5 stars actually. I haven't experienced the kind of depression described in this book, but I have seen others around me experience it. In some ways, I wish that one of the characters had the kind of depression I've seen-- not depression precipitated by terrible events, but ye olde, life has a terrible, beautiful futility to it. But then again, there is an oddcouple at the heart of this. And I guess I understand the reasons the author chose to have tragedy behind both. Aysel and Roman make a suicide pact. But as they get to know each other, and each other's families, they begin to see something other than the "black slug" of depression in each other. Kudos to Warga for making Aysel a believable physics-loving nerd with a non-Anglo Saxon background. Also kudos to Warga for walking the narrow, tricky moral line between having Aysel and Roman remain loyal to their promises and to each other and the need to tell others when someone in your circle is suicidal. So where does the half star get lost? I am uneasy with the way the story resolves. There seems to be an about face and some instant forgiveness, and I wondered if it could be all that easy, especially with the inescapable tragedies facing both of them. But all in all, a very worthwhile read. if only for the way Aysel talks about her depression and how it affects her outlook on almost everything.

I'd rate this 4.5 stars. Aysel is a 16-year-old high school student growing up in Kentucky. She's obsessed with science, particularly physics, but she avoids participating in school because she doesn't want to give her fellow classmates even more fodder to whisper about her. She's also tremendously depressed, and fears that the mental illness which plagues her father will affect her in the same way, so she has made up her mind that she's ready to die. "Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head." Aysel spends a lot of time on Smooth Passages, a website for people who want to die. In a section of the site called "Suicide Partners," which is dedicated to people looking for others to make their final plans with. It is in this section that Aysel meets Roman, a 17-year-old who lives in the next town over. He, too, wants desperately to die, wants to do it with someone who lives within an hour of him, and he wants to die on April 7. That's non-negotiable. As Aysel gets to know Roman, and gets drawn into his life, she realizes the depth of his sadness, but she is uncomfortable sharing her reasons for wanting to die, for fear she may alienate him. As the days draw closer to April 7, she starts to wonder if death is really the answer for the two of them, or if she's better off finding them reasons to live. But Roman isn't interested in changing his plans, no matter how Aysel makes him feel. "I once read in my physics book that the universe begs to be observed, that energy travels and transfers when people pay attention. Maybe that's what love really boils down to—having someone who cares enough to pay attention so that you're encouraged to travel and transfer, to make your potential energy spark into kinetic energy." My Heart and Other Black Holes made me sad, and it gave me hope. It painted a tremendously accurate, effective, and emotional picture of teens dealing with depression and despair, and how the need to escape those feelings becomes greater than anything else, even connections with others. Jasmine Warga created memorable characters you truly feel for, and I've been thinking about them even after finishing the book. This book will generate comparisons with Jennifer Niven's amazing All the Bright Places , and while the two share a general theme, they're very different books. This book is a little more straightforward; I felt as if Roman and Aysel talked more like teenagers and dealt with more teenage-like problems that Violet and Finch did in Niven's book, but I felt as if the plot in this book was a little more predictable. This book is no pale imitation of Niven's, however; it is tremendously well-written and affecting, and it deserves to be read on its own merits. In the end, it's important to realize that even if your problems seem insurmountable, there is always a solution other than suicide. Anyone dealing with those feelings needs to get help, needs to let someone else in, even if the thought is overwhelming. Give someone else the chance to listen to you, to hear you, to help you.

phew! this was such a beautiful read. i was engrossed from the beginning and my interest never once swayed. i was desperate to find out what tragedy took over the MC’s heart and how/if it was going to be overcame. my heart and other black holes centers around aysel, who’s struggling and doubts that she has any reason to live. she’s convinced that she has a “black hole” consuming her insides and is unable to foresee any sort of happiness for herself. she meets roman, the sweetest-grumpiest boy and they both want the same thing which is to not be alive. overtime aysel’s views and heart changes, the black hole gradually closes, allowing her to find reasons to live, love and be happy. sadly, roman is still suffering himself, trying to claw his way out of the “black hole” and aysel tries to be there for him, encouraging him to stay alive. but sometimes, people have to learn how to support and appreciate themselves on their own. it’s more personal and it brings forth self reflection and a sense of self realization. in the end though, we all want somebody to hold onto us, cradle us and reassure us that they’re here for us and present with us. i had all the feels reading this, love, sadness, happiness, hope and i ugly cried reading the last few chapters. this book is for the people who has lost hope and need that kinetic energy to give them a boost . i annotated so many things from this, i couldn’t stop tbh, some things were relatable, some were sad, some were funny, sweet & hopeful. this is in my top 5 of books of last year! i read the ebook but needed the physical copy, it came in good condition!

What a wonderfully poignant story. I think this book is vitally important-- it realistically portrays suicidal thoughts and how to address them in oneself and others. Depression is insidious. The stigma it carries, the way our society perceives it, is perhaps more dangerous than the disease itself. The voice of Jasmine Warga speaks clearly for those who cannot. I believe it is only through her words, and others like them, that our culture can become enlightened. On a lighter note, I love the WAY she writes. Aysell's internal dialogue, her vulnerability are very realistic, apt portrayals. I love her emphasis on the whip-smart, talented, creative characteristics of both Aysell and Roman. My heart ached for them, so full of potential, yet so broken. Especially, I loved the classical music, physics, nerd, turtle love, athletic prowess, and artistic talent references. Children have these qualities; like flowers, the need to be nourished and allowed to bloom. Thank you for this marvelous book. I think it should serve as a THERAPEUTIC AND TEACHING TOOL, perhaps as required reading for high schoolers, Psychology students, and therapists.

Do not read this book in a public place. Because it will make you cry. It hit me in the details, in places where I least expected it. Many books have been written about depression. And where some books failed, My Heart and Other Black Holes didn’t. It didn’t come off as dramatic. It wrote depression for what it really is and the harsh reality that comes with it. “Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there's nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression.” I have friends who suffer from depression and I worry about them. I know I can never imagine half of what they’re going through but this book gave me a peek at what’s inside. This is a story about two people who want to die. And is it wrong to say that I understand why they do? Life can sometimes be cruel and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. It hurts to know someone is suffering and no matter how much you want to make things better for them, you can’t. What I loved most about this book are Aysel and Roman. Sure, they are not the most like-able characters but they were written in such a way that you will accept them for who they are. No pretensions, just their real selves and it isn’t always pretty. And that’s okay. This is not a love story. There is no romance here, only love and hope. This is about finding people who understand you and accepts you as you are. This is about fighting even when you no longer want to. This is about finding reasons to live. And I hope you do. I hope every single day, you do.

A relatable quick read that skips around and tastes like Whoppers. This a 3 that should be a 2.5, but I'm too much of a wimp to do that. Before I even started this book, I wasn't rooting for them. I also believe that something is wrong when all you can do is imagine the leading main character with an 8-year-olds voice. The story seemed to skip around, and lost the central voice of the story, Ayzel. The two main characters relationship also sped up very quickly. It went from a 4 to a 9. This story was like wanting a Snickers but you could only get some Whoppers (the chocolate malt bakey things). If you're easily pacified with quick read (2 hours, tops) then knock yourself out with this book. The main reason my rating isn't a 2 is because I found it quite realistic. Being around the same age group, I was able to relate to multiple characters. And there you have it. Thanks for reading.

The book has a great plot and storyline. It is one of the best reads I've had and it really shows a beautiful connection found in the two characters despite the situation. It is definitely a must read.