Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

I started this book after doing my evening reading for medical school following an eleven-hour day at the hospital and clinic. You know how dense you imagine my textbooks are? Maybe take that concept and multiply it by ten. Med school textbooks can be overwhelming even for med school students. I mean, I love reading, which is great because medical students (and physicians) do a TON of it, but I can barely get through The Cat in the Hat after a solid evening of reading following a day at the clinic following a morning at the hospital. However, I picked up this book in a fit of ambition, planning to read a chapter before snuggling with my cat in front of the TV for the rest of the evening. Nineteen chapters later, I was snuggling with my cat and had a finished book in front of me. I should've gone to sleep an hour before so I could get up early to get to the hospital, but I kept justifying reading one more chapter to myself. I haven't devoured a book this quickly since I was an undergrad, and I haven't enjoyed a book so thoroughly in at least six months. It beats out the insulin dosing portion of my textbooks in terms of interest! ...I'm in med school. I'm a giant nerd. I think insulin dosing is FASCINATING. Do you have any idea how fascinating something needs to be in order to beat out insulin dosing? Take that idea and multiply it by ten. NOW you have an idea of this book's level of fascinating. I can't recommend this book enough. Everyone dies (as I am quickly learning in medical school), few people have a relationship with death, and even among those of us who do (for instance, I've seen a fair few folks die even in my tenure as a student), Ms. Doughty's relationship to death and the dead is unique. I loved reading about her experiences with stillborn fetuses and babies, with cadavers used in science research, with amputated limbs, with corpses of folks who had died of an MI--very different than my own, but rich in meaning, sincere, respectful, and loving. Her writing style is personal, engaging, warm, and promotes engagement and a desire to collaborate. After just one chapter, I wanted to buy her coffee and chat about corpses which had changed our lives (I had a favorite cadaver in my gross anatomy course. Most folks find this idea strange, but I suspect Ms. Doughty would get it), about dying in our medical system, and about primary care doctors' (whose ranks I hope to join) efforts to change that process. I wanted to hear more about her career in the death industry, and volunteer to get people thinking about and engaging with death and mortality. I have zero spare time, but if there was an opportunity to help Ms. Doughty promote death acceptance (without interrupting my coursework or hurting my patients--I am a medical student, after all), I'd figure out a way to find the time to make it work. That's how interesting and inspirational and powerful her book is. Buy it, read it, enjoy it, love it, be inspired by it, and pass it on. This is a book you will love and lend out and demand back and read over and over. Congratulations on an awesome (in the truest sense of the word) debut book, Ms. Doughty! I very much look forward to reading your future books!

Never have I found such a satisfying read that both entertained and educated simultaneously throughout its entirety. I LOVED THIS BOOK. Doughty addresses a major societal/cultural issue from a fresh perspective that will truly broaden your horizons and make you reconsider life - or more importantly, death - plans. The purpose of the book being "to ensure that more people are not robbed of a dignified death by a culture of silence." I feel as though I've had the same thoughts about death that were presented in the book as I'm certain most everyone has. I've had thoughts about how I will meet my end, what will become of my body, the hypothetical situations where someone you wouldn't want to have see you in that state is front and center; witnessing the worst. But I feel like we never go beyond those thoughts. We don't research the answers. We don't possess realistic expectations. Doughty turned those thoughts into an obsession of sorts. She was pained by the fact that the United States in particular chooses time and time again to avoid acceptance of the realities of death all together. We have been conditioned during our upbringing by society and surroundings to not openly discuss the subject. Instead we focus on ways to cheat death or take any measure necessary to prolong life and are always in search of the fountain of youth. Embalming was born from marketing and consumerism. No one wants to look behind the "formaldehyde curtain" and look natural decomposition in its "repulsive" eye. But once you understand that presentation methods involve being "sprayed, sliced, pierced, pickled, trussed, trimmed, creamed, waxed, painted, rouged, and neatly dressed" all in order to transform a common corpse into your expectation of what they should look like, you may reconsider. To say that this book opened my eyes would be an understatement. It changed my views drastically and added a great calmness. If you associate your own future death with chills down your spine or have attended viewings of others and had the thought "they don't even look like themselves" cross your mind or can't for the life of you recall any familial/cultural death rituals/traditions that are done at the time of a loved one's passing, YOU need to invest a little time in this book. Death isn't scary. Ignorance toward death is scary. How would you choose to forever be laid to rest? Before this book, I wasn't even aware of all the possibilities. To be expensively embalmed, beautified, sealed in a golden casket, placed into a marble vault, crowned with a stylish headstone that has purposely been inscribed with such poetry to surely turns heads of each and every passerby. To be cremated and placed into an urn that will ironically collect its own dust sitting on the mantle or be thrown out to sea following the goodbyes of its tosser. To be admirably donated to science. To recycle yourself through green burial. Or as the author mentioned, if she had the choice, to offer herself back to nature; being free to lie where she dies and allow all surrounding elements to receive her. "My whole life I had eaten other animals, and now I would offer myself to them. Nature would at last have its chance with me." The author noted that there was no Art of Dying manual readily available to guide us through our decision making and thus, she created one. The reason behind preparing and designing your own "Good Death" is to ensure that your wishes will be met and your loved ones will be considered - as they generally have to manage the aftermath. "For me, the good death includes being prepared to die, with my affairs in order, the good and bad messages delivered that need delivering. The good death means dying while I still have my mind sharp and aware; it also means dying without having to endure large amounts of suffering and pain. The good death means accepting death as inevitable, and not fighting it when the time comes.... Your relationship to morality is your own." - Caitlin Doughty Check out orderofthegooddeath.com for some insight from the author herself.

Interesting read! I found it fascinating, and not morbid at all. It's well written, informative and entertaining. I would 💯 recommend.

One of the best books I've read on death and mortality. It is a title that seeks to examine and deconstruct the funeral industry and Western society's unwillingness to accept death and the dead body as a fact of life. The book is packed with impactful and insightful thoughts but this quote more or less is what it (and Doughty's whole career) is about - "So masterfully do we hide death, you would almost believe we are the first generation of immortals. But we are not." The book was delivered on time and in excellent condition, despite having travelled from a whole other country, so that's neat too.

Y hasta tiene bastantes toques filosóficos, me encanta la honestidad de Caitlin. El libro bastante bueno, me encantó. Lo único malo fue amazon, me bloquea de leer las últimas páginas y no puedo terminar de leerlas (aunque menos mal que ya era en los agradecimientos) hasta que no valore el libro en las redes sociales...

It was a really amazing book. It exceeded my expectations. It made me cry and laugh and think about death, all in the same time. I really enjoyed reading this book and going to recommend it to everybody I know

L'histoire d'une jeune femme qui est traumatisée très tôt par la mort d'un enfant. Elle devienne croque-mort et nous explique, dans des tons ironiques, délicats, reels et sans fausse pudeur, ce qui arrive dans le corps et comment un croque-mort s'occupe du cadavre. Style d'écriture fort fluide et captivant. Elle a un sens d'humour très noir et en meme temps, très drôle. Aussi, ce livre nous interroge sur notre propre mort et ce qu'on a fait pour soi-même. Plus interrogeant pour moi - les pauvres qui restent des années dans des homes (généralement les femmes). J'ai vu d'expérience dans un home "de luxe", une femme qui devait se coucher à 20h30 tous les soirs, petit déjeuner "English breakfast" servi habituellement froid, et infirmières pas toujours agréables (occupies, débordées, raleuses, etc.) Qu'en est-il pour ceux/celles qui veulent vivre plus tard avec l'aide de la medicine? Très divertissant, cruel, vrai, ironique et drôle, ce livre nous ouvre les yeux sur la réalité de la mort. Peut être que c'est parce que l'écrivaine est jeune, elle apporte beaucoup de fraîcheur à son ouvrage. A recommender vivement.

There are many things I could say about this book; insightful, funny, grotesque, relatable, bizarre, silly and profound. It's a lot of things at once. Even as a longtime fan of her channel I found myself struck by all the interesting things I learned, both about her life and about death. A lot of interesting insights into the funeral industry. There's a lot Western culture needs to improve about our relationship with death, but this book serves as a powerful clarion call for change. Would recommend, even if you aren't familiar with the Youtube channel. A fascinating work.