What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life Paperback – August 7, 2018

This book not only has great parenting advice, but has also given me permission to let go of the endless negative loops that run through my head. Things like, "I need to teach my child to become internally motivated," "she has to realize things can't always go her way," "if I negotiate, it will be indulging her," "I don't want her to become spoiled," "maybe she does just need a good spanking," etc. Those thoughts finally start dissipating when I absorbed Dr. Saline's words. She came up with an easy 5C program for parents to remember:Self-control: keeping in check one's own emotions before engaging with the child. From experience, most of us know that we go into the conflict thinking we need to "be firm," and that it might be a good thing if he were to see how his actions upset us by showing him what it looks like when we lose it. Invariably, we feel worse--full of regret and like a bad parent. This 'C' is a good reminder to wait to engage only until one is calm and can speak in a low, steady tone.Collaboration: my favorite C, and the one that's worked best for us. Negotiating and getting a buy-in from our child has been instrumental for us. We homeschool (which I can't recommend strongly enough), and I've found working with her is a great way for us to get her schoolwork done. Sometimes this means axing questions from the sheet, or substituting one task for another, but it still gets more done than if the time had been spent on a Mexican standoff. Collaboration has been the single thing that made school work stressful to manageable and often enjoyable.Compassion: Another gem from the book is to start with the assumption that kids do well if they can. I think it's easy to assume ADHD kids are "testing us" and are "unmotivated and lazy," especially with siblings who seem to do things with ease and little prompting. By starting with the premise that one's child is genuinely good-hearted and wants to please, it creates a much better foundation on which to begin conversations, mandates, and check-ins.Consistency: say what you mean, mean what you say and do what you say. Create reasonable consequences and stick with it. While it sucks holding my child in a hug and saying how I completely understand that she's sad about missing her screen time because she didn't finish her work, it's infinitely better than spending all day welling up with resentment that she's not doing what I told her to do. This 'C' works even better when I can enforce consequences with consistent empathy and compassion (such as hugging and showing warmth during her crying)--I'm not perfect at this, but am trying every day.Celebration: utterly crucial for kids to feel loved, validated, and caring about the parent's wisdom and guidance. This step has perhaps been harder for me when seeing my daughter perform with much more prodding than my second child (as I've not wanted to reward what seems to be minimal effort) but I completely agree with the author when she explains that ADHD kids are often short-changed in the "celebration" department for judgments that I, and so many others, make about their motivation and effort.I consider myself really fortunate to have an amazing relationship with my daughter. I don't think I would, were it not for both instinctively and conscientiously practicing the advice in this book.

Easy to read, understand, and gain insight into a complicated world for you and a child's relationship on this common and sometimes difficult road. Good tips and a great resource.

There are many things this book covers that I had organically started doing through trial and error with my ADHD daughter (9). I wish I had read it sooner, as it would have saved me some frustration during the pandemic. It would have also helped me understand how her brain thinks as opposed to mine. Traditional parenting strategies don’t work and this book provides solutions and strategies that do work for both of us.I knew my girl was “different” at just 3 years old and pursued neuropsychiatric evaluations that gave me access to the therapies (PT/OT/Play) that we needed. I recently navigated the 504 process. All things covered in the book. Early intervention is vital, as it shapes self confidence and creates a new “normal” for both parent and child.The book was wonderful, easy to read and implement. I found the 5 C’s (self-control, compassion, collaboration, consistency, and celebration) were empowering for me as a parent, as well as empowering for my ADHD kid. For me, managing the big emotions and executive function strategies will be my biggest take aways, as those are the areas we presently struggle with. This is a book I feel that I will be referring back to frequently and worth owning.

It’s easy to read and provides plenty of ideas. It’s also helpful as a parent to know I am not alone with the struggle to support a child with ADHD.

This is the first book I’ve read since finding out my son has ADHD. I found it incredibly helpful! It felt like I was reading about my own kid while also learning so many new things about how his brain works all at the same time.I love that the book includes tons of quotes from kids and parents. It makes it so relatable and you feel less alone in the struggles!Dr. Sharon outlines strategies to help your child find success. They are easy to understand and she gives plenty of examples.I highly recommend this book. I suggest having a highlighter close by so you can easily go back to helpful parts you know you’ll want to revisit!

This book really explains what your child is going through in their high revved brains. The author also explained how to help them and us cope. No, you're not going crazy. No, your kid isn't Red Chief.(See O.Henry stories) It's possible to navigate ADHD without either of you going bald.😉 Just hang in there and do the work.

I have a son with ADHD. Recently he has become like another child. Angry, frustrated, sad, embarrassed. When I saw those signs I immediately started looking for help. As things progressed with him, I was getting no where as far as how to help him and was running on fumes trying to figure out what to do for myself and him. I’m a big reader and just happened to come across this book and boy am I happy I did. This book saved my relationship with my son. It has helped me know what to ask for with his school and how to speak to him about his ADHD, along with tons of advice and guidance. It’s still a long road ahead but this time I have a “roadmap” to how my sons brain works and how and why he does certain things etc. I’m gonna tell you- it isn’t easy. But when you stick to everything and just make some slight changes so your child can understand and not be afraid or embarrassed of his disorder… and that makes me happy. I recommend this book to any parent with a child who has ADHD. It has literally saved my relationship with my son but more importantly- my son is back to smiling and being himself again. I don’t know what I would have done without the help of this book.